Life
CW: Depression, anxiety, low self-esteem
For weeks now I have really wanted to make a blog post about how things have been the last few months. There were a lot of really high highs and really low lows, so it has been difficult to figure out how to structure it and what exactly to talk about, as well as trying to figure out the right time to write it. I am going to touch on some slightly heavier topics, hence the content warnings at the start, though I will note that ultimately this is a happy post.
On the low side, there has been really bad depression and anxiety, and some very difficult life changes. The move to Seattle was weirdly more difficult than I expected it to be. Not because of anything wrong with the city or the people here, but because I had built up bad walls and behaviors over the last year that I have had to unlearn. My self esteem hit an all-time low and rather than seeking help I pushed the people close to me away and self-isolated. Thoughts were dark and I started to wonder if I had made the right choice by moving here in the first place. Things got to a breaking point, and I finally decided I needed to get myself back into therapy and begin opening up to my partners and close friends.
Therapy was a good decision. It really turned things around for me as I was able to start forgiving myself for my mistakes over this past year and be more present for the people that I loved. I began going to the gym regularly with my housemate and friends, and I relearned just how much of a difference moving my body makes for my mental health. I am hoping to get back into running and maybe one day doing marathons once more. I started going to concerts with people and interacting with folks there. I made a bunch of new friends this way and even ended up on a date with someone I literally ran into in a mosh pit. I have been moving forward with multiple things I have had on the backburner for years now such as getting my passport and looking into bottom surgery. I make more regular time for my partners now and am able to show love and affection for them in ways I was struggling with, and I am just so immensely thankful for all of thesupport that they gave me getting through all of this.
Anyway, I am getting ready to go do karaoke with some friends, so I am going to end things with some pictures. Thank you for reading!
